“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, he turned into a butterfly.” Proverb
Sometimes we walk through life thinking that everything we do is mediocre and dull. And we may think that we are not achieving anything, instead we are looking at everybody else and they seem to have one success after another. They are happily smiling and looking all relaxed and if they don’t have one care in the world. I often wonder why we keep comparing ourselves to others?
Life is not a competition, there’s nothing that says that we have to do things in a certain way, that we need to live our lives like this or that. I myself falls in to the category of people that use to think very low of myself, and having very low self-esteem. And that was because of many circumstances that I had to live through since I was very young. I was often asking myself why don’t I live in a happy family? Why don’t I have all the fancy clothes that every other girls in school seems to have? Why can’t we have that tight family connection? Well, the list is long, but these are few of the questions I often use to ask myself when I was a lot younger than I am today.
Does it sound familiar to you? Have you had the same type of thoughts? Well, do not give up, that is my humble advice. Life is what it is and we simply have to make the best of it as we possibly can. However, to me it took many years before I started to change the way I was looking at things and life itself. I never really revolted as a teenager, let’s put it this way my puberty was somewhat delayed. It was not until I was in my mid thirties that I simply turned around and started to ‘revolt’ and refusing to do things the way that other people were expecting me to. All those years of accepting and just coping had been effecting me of course. And as I always say that Rome was not built in one day, to change the way you see things and how you do things, it does take time.
When I was in my late thirties I left my home country to go to work in Ireland. And that was really saving me from going under as a person, that was a step I had to do. Because firstly I needed a job, and it seems like it was easier to get a job abroad than in my own country due to high competition. And since I didn’t have any academic education I was doomed to fail, in a way. My simple thought was, that I didn’t have anything to loose really. And I desperately needed a new start for myself, and one thing I haven’t been afraid of is to take the leap and start new things. I can only look back on the past nine years living here in Ireland, how I have been going as a person and gotten a lot stronger in myself.
I have always been interested in people and their behaviour. I suppose I spent a lot of time observing others when I was growing up, and I came across some really horrible behaviour very close in our family. But I am not going to go into any details about it, just that it has changed my view of life a bit. And I vouch for simplicity in my life, there’s no need to make things more complicated than they need to be. And today I received response from my first assessment in the forensic science course I am taking, the tutor was giving me a good score on it and this made me feeling proud of myself, it gave me such esteem and energy. It made me saying to myself, you are good at what you are doing. I am totally in for this and know this is going to be a good thing.
Think of the caterpillar that thought that life was ending, and he turned in to a butterfly. I think that is a good comparison, but perhaps sometimes hard to see yourself at. But, do not give up or loose yourself in the process, when you are going through something hard or when people are treating you unfairly. Just raise above them and do what you have to do and what is good for YOU! I cannot emphasise enough how important you are for yourself.
Wishing everybody a great weekend!
Eva’s Chronicles (praying for France and it’s people after the terrible attacks they experienced on Friday)